TSR Withdrawal Sydrome

I think I'm suffering from TSR withdrawal syndrome.

不熟

我最讨厌那些明明和人家不熟的人，却摆出一幅有如和别人隔世相逢的好友的人。

虚伪！

五年。

“转眼就五年了。”他对我说。“这里已是我第二个家。”

说着说着，我看见了他的眼角里的泪光。虽然他在说这翻话时脸上带着笑容，但还是能看得出他在强忍住泪水。五年对大多数人来说可能不算长，可能甚至对有些来说都不足以培养一份对事物的感情。对他而言在这五年里了，他默默付出了他的心血，也对这里的一切有了一份真感情。

他不时对我述说他在这五年里遇到所发生的事。快乐的、悲伤的、有趣的、离奇的，甚至是超自然的事物，他都能从他的记忆里挖掘这些事物的一点一滴，仿佛就想刚刚发生一样。在不停地讲述着这些奇文趣事，他开始笑了。企图用笑声和笑颜来掩盖他对要离开这一切的不舍和悲伤。眼泪已在眼角，但他不轻易让泪落下。他的职责所在不能让他流露出他较为软弱的一面。他需保持他的专业形象和他对这份工作的骄傲。许多人曾劝他辞了这份吃力又不讨好的工作，在家里享清福。就因对这里有了归属感，他选择了留下。

已过了下班时间，他还是待在办公室里。再一次铭记这里的一景一物。以他的年龄来说五年可能不算什么，但对于一个迈入人生的尾端的人来说，五年是那么的长，那么地极为宝贵。更何况在这五年里，他复出了他的一切。天下无不散之宴席，随然说他是被迫离开这宴席的。

我和他最后拍了一张合照留作纪念。照片里他面无表情，但我深知在那面似空虚的面容里隐藏他对工作的热爱与骄傲，也带着离开这所有的一切的不舍与悲伤。

大家好！

大家好！久违了！大家可都还好？相信你们都想问为何相隔这么久才有post呢。哦。。。要怎么说呢？这一年多里发生了许多事吧。人生处于分叉路口。有点捉摸不定，有一点失去了人生目标。大概是因为这些年来都没好好的想过未来的日子想做些什么。但一切都算安顿下来了。在毕业后终于找到了一份工作。刚开始时是做兼职，后来才决定申请当全职。虽然与我在大学主修的科目可说是一个天，一个地的差别，但还做的开心，也学到很多东西。老板对我很好也很耐心，同事都有友善，亲切。最初遇到了一点办公室政治，又遇到公司重组，人事方面大混乱，不过还都（未）挨过了，因为我的部门还是有空缺！！！天天都很忙！天天加班！快要我的命了！嗨。。。

房外电视打着《不能说的秘密》的广告，还真的有点冲动想重看那DVD，虽然可能已经看了n次。喜欢电影里镜头捕捉的画面，原声带也很不错，但电影到最后有一点点不符合故事里说讲诉的逻辑。不是说了只有他第一眼看见的人才能看见他吗，为什么阿伦还能拍毕业照片，出现在照片里呢？！？！

外面又下起大雨了，新加坡看来真的要变成水乡了。还好我住在十楼。哈哈！

有点离题了。这些日子会很忙，没什么自己的时间，也没有什么写post的灵感，所以应该不常blog。有空我会尽量写多点吧。

就在这停keyboard了，请大家拭目以待吧。

random things @ random hours.

what i'm listening to.


what i can't do without when i'm out.


what i can't do without when i'm in front of my computer.


there's U.


song to sum things up.

Marching Towards March.

Come Sunday will mark the beginning of the end of the my university life. There's 4 quizzes, 3 presentations, 2 reports/essays (incl. FYP) to be done/presented/submitted in the month of March and also at the same time study/revise/prepare for the last ever examination in April. It is really crunch time for me this March. So much to do, so little time. On the bright side, once they are over, they are REALLY over. Buckle up people! This is the beginning of the end!

Happy New Year!

Happy new year to everyone! Wishing everyone a prosperous new year and a year of bullish economy!

Nice Weather.

Stupid blogspot! It didn't publish the post I've typed for one reason or another after I clicked "Publish Post", so the post was lost in cyberspace. Anyway, I just want to say that the weather is weird with all the nice sunshine and cold breezes, especially so for this time of the year. It makes me wonder whether Singapore is moving away from the equator. But the weird weather gives some of the nicest skies I've seen. But I hope it'll rain soon as the grass are turning yellow. =P

Strange Movies.

I went out on a mini movie marathon on Saturday. Caught "The Day The Earth Stood Still" and "Twilight". I was rather bemused at the end of both shows and they left me wondering what the plots were. Watched "Twilight" first. "Twilight" is a screen adaptation of the novel with the same name. Basically, it's just a romance story between a vampire and a teenage girl. I heard that the novel is good, but I'm not so sure about the movie though. The movie's plot is so simple; Girl meets vampire, vampire likes girl, vampire protects girl from other vampires. There isn't a scene where I can say that is the climax of the movie. Pretty much a boring show really, I certainly hope that the book is better. I'll read up some day. As for the other show, sadly, is a boring show too. Alien come earth, planning to eradicate humans, change his mind and leave. Another show which has seemingly no climax. *Yawn* A bad remake of the original show and probably should not have remade it. Plus the show is only 90 minutes long. The show can really make do with a longer duration to help on the plot. All in all, the shows are not worth watching on the big screen. 2 stars out of 5 for both show, please wait for DVDs if you are intend on watching them.

December.

No post for November due to the my second last examination session in NTU. (Damn... There's still one session to go.) It's December! It's probably the last December that I ever want to remember, at least for the time being. FYP is killing me. December is basically devoted to FYP. The progress has been slow, mostly due to my procrastination during the semester, and things haven't been going so well, hitting the walls here and there. Karma is back to haunt me. No holiday trip too, I'm exceptionally poor this December. I hope Santa gives me a blank cheque this Christmas, I promise I will be a good boy next year! =P I can't wait for Christmas. Christmas feel hasn't set in yet this year. I think must be because of the occasional rain. It's surprisingly dry and hot in Singapore for this time of year, so much so I get sun burnt. I would expect Singapore to be a city of eternal rain during this time of year, but it hasn't really been raining. The air is dry and hot, totally no "winter" feel at all. Not that there's winter in Singapore, but I feel a rainy December is the closest you can get to a white Christmas. Please rain! I hope you're having a better December than me. Have yourself a merry little Christmas and next year all our troubles will be miles away. Signing off...

This is it!

Locks dropped!

Blue.

I cannot believe that it happened to me again.
Feels like shit.

Qin Wei and ME Talkshow. Episode No. 2

Good morning/afternoon/evening ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Qin Wei and ME Talkshow episode 2.

ME was busy typing his blog when Qin Wei suddenly appears and walk over...

Qin Wei:"Qin Wei! It has been awhile isn't it? When was the last time I saw you?"

ME:"Yes... It has been quite sometime since I last saw you. About 2 years? And I'm glad that I didn't have to see you all this while."

Qin Wei:"Hey! Am I so irritable? After all, I'm you!"

ME:"That's the sad fact..."

Qin Wei:"I see you have brushed up your English. No more Singlish and the lah-s, leh-s and lor-s."

ME:"Yes... That's right. I've come to realise you need to speak proper English to get on with life nowadays."

Qin Wei:"Good for you!"

ME:"Seriously, where have you been all these while? I've typed so many blog entries since I last saw you, but you didn't appear."

Qin Wei:"You tell me! You are the one that hid me in some secluded dark place which I don't even know where the hell it is."

ME:"Really? I'm didn't know that. If it's me, I'm sorry."

Qin Wei:"Yes! It was you! And apology NOT accepted! You don't know how it feels to be lost in some places you don't know."

ME:"I'm SORRY ok? I certainly didn’t mean it."

ME:"So how did you manage to get out?"

Qin Wei:"You brought me out!"

ME:"I brought you out? How did I bring you out?"

Qin Wei:"I don't know. I think you called me out by thinking of me. After all you and I are the same thing, though we are also two different things, it shouldn't be hard to think of me, right?"

ME:"Huh? I don't get it."

Qin Wei:"Nevermind... You probably never will."

Qin Wei:"I see you are typing your blog again."

ME:"Yes... Just updating some things that had happened recently. I don't really blog very often nowadays."

Qin Wei:"Oh. Is that so."

ME:"You haven't been around, so that's why you don't know."

Qin Wei:"Yah. Thanks to you."

ME:"....."

Qin Wei:"So how's life when I'm not around. Still surviving?"

ME:"Barely. Life's tough for a final year student. All the assignments and the never ending FYP. The thought of them sickens me."

Qin Wei:"Wooh... It is really that bad?"

ME:"Ok... Maybe they are not so bad that they sickens me, but they are quite a handful to handle. Not quite used to doing so many projects in a semester."

Qin Wei:"You can't help it anyway, so just get on with it."

ME:"You know what."

Qin Wei:"What?"

ME:"sometimes I really wonder why am I studying engineering. I feel I shouldn't be in the engineering field. I should be in some arts field or business field or maybe even football field!"

Qin Wei rolls his eyes.

Qin Wei:"Come on. You are in your final year and now then you choose to think of that? You should have thought of that years ago. What you should do now is to focus on the present, complete the task at hand and that is to graduate with a degree."

ME:"I guess you are right. I should finish the job first before I move on to another, hopefully it will be something I like."

Qin Wei:"That's right."

Qin Wei breathes a sigh of relief.

Qin Wei:"Anyway, shouldn't you be studying for your quiz?"

ME:"Nah... No mood. That's why I'm blogging."

Qin Wei:"Not putting up orientation photos this time?"

ME:"Oh yah! Haha. Should show you my super bonded orientation group."





ME:"Seeing them reminds of my freshmen year. But this time of the semester, my OG was already like disintegrated. But this new bunch, they are really super bonded. They meet almost everyday for dinner!"

Qin Wei:"Really super bonded. Must be the convalent bonds."

ME:"....."

Qin Wei:"Ok ok. It was a stupid comment. Just want to break the ice. You look rather moody."

ME:"You could have used the chisel instead. Hmm... I'm not moody. It's just that I've been thinking through quite a few things lately."

Qin Wei:"What things?"

ME:"You should know better. You are me."

Qin Wei:"Er... True. But I've been away."

ME:"Argh! Go find out them out yourself, you know where I put my thoughts."

Qin Wei:"Er... Ok."

ME:"I gotta go. I need to study for the stupid quiz. Anyway, I'll need you to go read my thoughts. There's something I want to talk with you about."

Qin Wei:"Ooo... Is that so. Ok, I will go read them up first before I see you again. Alrighty, you should get going with your revision."

ME:"Yeah, yeah. See ya."

Qin Wei:"Bye."

ME:"And don't you sell yourself to the devil!"

Qin Wei:"I WON'T! Bye."

This conclude episode no. 2 of Qin Wei and ME talkshow. Tune in next time for the next episode and have a nice day.

Bittersweet.

The new semester brings about a sense of unfamiliarity. Gone are the old birds, in come new kids to the blocks, a different kind of student life for me and even the school looks different nowadays. Pretty much everything has changed, perhaps except me. The familiar faces in hall are long gone and have embarked on their new journeys in life, and I will do the same in roughly less than a year. They will be missed, no doubt about it. But as people will say, you simply move on with life. I can be consoled that this year there's something different for I've met, by own standards, many new people. On my count, the new friends that I've made this year is probably more than the previous two years combined. This is certainly unexpected, so much so that I feel amazed by it. On the final year of my university life, I was expecting myself to tuck into a little corner on the hall, busy doing my FYP and start worrying where life will bring me in the future. But in come the twist in story that reminds me what is it to stay in hall and have come to tell me to enjoy my final year in hall and university. Enjoy the life now as I was told, but it's not easy. Endless projects and assignments, coupled with FYP, and the constant thought of the future lurks in my head. For me now, life is like dark chocolate, bittersweet. Ironically, dark chocolate is also my favourite chocolates.

Last Day of June

My friend commented that the entry was under construction for too long, so I thought perhaps it is time to type it out. For some reasons it was delayed and mainly because I wasn't in the mood. None the less, here it is. I glad that June is over. Having a really bad sprained ankle on the first day of June meant that I couldn't do any exercise and certainly doesn't help on my current weight. 74kg and probably increasing. I'm fat and growing fat. You may think I'm paranoid over my weight, but considering that I was just 55kg just 3 years ago, I think I have reason to be paranoid. 20kg weight increment over 3 years may not seem much, but my weight has been increasing and it's not a good sign. Well, I'm up and walking now which is good though I still can feel some pain when I rotate my ankle. Vigorous exercise will have to wait then. Actually there's nothing much happening in June for me, mostly due to the sprained ankle. But I still managed to go some catching up friends when I managed to start walking and do some odd jobs here and there. And there was EURO 2008 to keep me rooted to my room. As the matches are at night, it means that I woke up at between lunch time and tea break the day after watching them. That left only handful hours for daytime activities and the cycle repeats. My life was like that for the first two weeks. I didn't really like it but I didn't hate it either. And also there was my birthday in the middle of the month. Nothing much really, nothing fanciful, just a simple dinner at home but it was nice. Oh yah! There are the J-dramas to keep me company too. It has been a while since I get to watch so many J-dramas. Certainly reminds me of my secondary/JC days when they were really popular and the J-idols were hot topics in school. I still can't get over watching J-dramas, simply like their short and condense plot and soft-spoken dialogue. K-dramas are nice too, and I enjoy watching them though not as much as J-dramas. Hm... I suppose that's about it for June. Basically summed up in 4 words - "Football", "J-dramas" and "Sprained Ankle".

1st Day of June.

Oh what a day! I sprained my ankle today during the usual Sunday football kick-about. I twisted my ankle as I jump for the ball. Nasty fall. It hurt real bad. And I really mean real bad. So bad that I had to be wheel chaired into the hospital. Luckily it turn out alright. Just a normal sprained, no fracture on the ankle. Phew! But I'm still given 6 days of MC anyway. The longest MC I've ever taken in my life, including my army days. I can hardly walk now and have to use crutches to move around. My first taste of using crutches and I must admit it is super inconvenient moving around with them. But the nurse that taught me how to walk on crutches was really sweet, patient and CUTE! She is like the model nurse that every patient will ever dream of. Haha! And so I took my time learning them! Muahahaha! Too bad I didn't catch her name. Hehe... But I also must thank the doctor. She's really nice too! One of the best I've seen. So much for the sprained ankle. There's ICT tomorrow, looks like I'm going to give it a miss. I hope the unit does not call me back to endorse my MC given my current conditions. I will inform them tomorrow and fingers crossed that I don't have to go back. Oh what a start to June! Let's hope the rest of month will be better. Fingers double crossed!

Oh yah! I forget to thank my friends! They carried me around and even send me to the hospital. Thanks guys! Cat High Rox!

Gatsby.

Shit... Every time the Gatsby commercial is played on TV, I keep thinking my phone is ringing, even after I had changed the ring tone. I think I've set the Gatsby song as the ring tone for too long. =P

Hmm...

They say life is like a game of poker.
You may hold the trump,
but you may not be the one triumph.
So take the chance as they come by,
for it may not be them that next walk by.
And they say life is just like a game of poker.

所谓世间万物欲求天时地利人和乃得以取胜。

3 Months of Void

Yep! It's over. Officially. Thank goodness, it is finally over. And along come 3 months of void that are to be filled and not wasted. I haven't seriously think through what I going to do for these few months other than the odd catching-ups with friends and D&D meetings in between. There's Euro 2008 to keep my footballing genes happy, but I doubt I will be able to watch them given the complications just to get them played on my TV. Seriously, something has to be done to the subscribed-TV market in Singapore, prices are rocketing. Then again, there's always the coffeeshop nearby. (Free-rider!) Furthermore, it looks like going to be another cash-strapped holidays for me, so temp job is also on the to-do list. Sigh, looks like it is no holidays after all. No money, no party! Damn... Perhaps, saving a few dollars a day will do the trick? Anyway, I'm moving out of hall soon. So are a lot of my friends in hall. They are graduating and are moving back home for good. Come next semester, they will not be around in hall and I ponder what hall life will become for me. Considering that they have been living with me in hall for the past 3 years, I guess it will take some adjustments not just to get use to new neighbours and also maybe a quite different hall life. Talking about adjustments, I will have to get use to living back at home again. For some reasons, living back at my own house give me a rather uneasy feeling. I think I've been living at hall for a less that desired period of time. That's it for now, mind rather blank for blogging. It's back to the videos

Severe Acute I-Wanna-Play-And-Play Behavioural Disorder

Woohoo! I'm having my last paper tomorrow! Hurray! I'm glad that it is going to be over in less than 24 hours. The examination period has been a real torture, particularly on the first week. Three papers in the space of three days has been unprecedented for me. It was so bad that I could say that I was mentally half-dead by the end of my third paper. Nevertheless, it is finally coming to an end. The champagne is on ice for now. One last one to go tomorrow and we can pop the bottle. Till that hour, it is back to the books. I will check back when all is well and the dust has settled for the end is near. Very near...